SETTLED BODIES, SETTLE BODIES
Yesterday, while in a store with my husband, I saw this young man and woman on the opposite side of the street. The woman was obviously upset and was seated on the floor while the young man was trying to coax her to stand up.
I told my husband, it seemed like they needed help and without waiting for his answer I went out of the store and proceeded to go next to them. I stayed next to the young man and asked him if they needed help. He was trying to calm himself and said it’s ok. I asked him again if “he needed help”. He looked at me and I saw a recognition in his eyes.
The kind that says “oh you see me”.
I proceeded to introduce myself to the young woman who was seated on the ground. Trying to get her attention and to co-regulate with me, I bent down to her level, my breathing a little louder so she can sync her breathing with mine, I asked her name and gave her options she can choose from. And I looked back at her brother, reassuring him that I understood what is happening and how she is overly stimulated. I listened attentively to him as he shared about his sister being autistic. All the while, looking at him as softly and gently as I can, letting my calm state flow through him as well.
At that moment, I am reminded of what I often tell my kids and when I train or facilitate:
“Hurt people, hurt people. Settled bodies, settle bodies. Let me be that settled body that can support you in settling yours.”
I eventually got her interest, enough for her to start walking and she took me along with her. I saw my husband smiling from the window of the store as we passed him by. A familiar look in his face that says “there she goes again.”
I walked with her and shared with his brother and mother what I do with Neurodiversity Foundation and Neurodiversity Education Academy. They talked openly of their struggles with medication, hormones, and how it can be too much for everyone. After a few minutes of being held by this lovely woman, with smiles in her face, and her words that I am her new friend, I had to tell her I needed to go back to my husband.
Her brother expressed how grateful he was because for most of the time, people would just walk by and not help. What he said deeply touched me.
I am not writing about this to get a praise.
I am writing about this to remember and to nudge others too.
We can do more for each other.
We can be a more caring society and not be dismissive of the suffering that is happening around us.
We can show up for others, even those that we consider as an outsider.
We can sit and stand next to a stranger in need of help and let our regulated nervous system support them.