SOFTEN, FLOCK, FLOW, AND SURRENDER
The past few nights I have had awful dreams. I am a vivid dreamer and oftentimes dreams such as the one I had last night can make me feel dysregulated in the morning. Not only is my body still clamoring for sleep, I am also feeling the aftermaths of the scenes I experienced in my dream.
One common thread that seems to be surfacing in these dreams is going for surgery. I know that it’s taking me a lot of effort in my waking period to be in the moment and not to think about my upcoming surgery. So it’s in my dreams where my anxieties are unfolding.
On one end I am glad that my brain and body have a way of processing things that are I am not able to fully let go off within the day. On another hand it also meant I am reliving the anxiety in my sleep and in the moment of waking - which meant my mornings are not as smooth or easeful.
Yet, it is what it is.
And all is left is to surrender to what is unfolding. Even if it meant for today, I get to stay longer on the bed. Lounge around more and be ok with the fact that my tempo for today is slow and steady.
Softening and surrendering are deep practices that I would like to cultivate more.
When challenging situations come up how I would like to re-train my body and my nervous system is to learn to:
Soften - Loosening the tension and the grip of the unsettling and uncomfortable emotions. This means allowing space to pause, to recalibrate, to be flexible, and to care for what needs tending at the given moment.
Flock - Returning and resourcing ourselves in community. Building on one’s circle of support and knowing that we can collectively count on each other to hold space for our diverse needs.
Flow - Moving in the energy of the moment. This involves discernment and attuning into:
what is emerging,
who or what it is in service for
why it is important,
and how to respond with vitality, gratitude, and intentionality.
Surrender - I am reminded of surrender as the term “bahala na”. In Filipino psychology, the word bahala is a derivative of the word Bathala, (ancient Supreme Being) worshiped by pre-colonial Filipinos. It is used in the context of leaving things in the hands of the Divine Being similar to the Islamic term Inshallah, which means “God willing” or “if Allah wills.”
Bahala na/ Surrendering does not indicate avoidance rather it entails:
tolerance and patience to the ambiguity
trust that everything will fall into place
heightened ability to be flexible and resilient in the given moment
emboldened self-confidence in one’s capacity to hold any contingency
leap of faith in whatever Divine Being we are supported by
And lastly surrendering allows us to take courage and hold on to hope. Reminding us that we have taken the courage to take action and the optimism to find ourselves saying “Hiraya manawari” (ancient Tagalog phrase that means “hope too shall come to pass.”).
And yes, how I am for today, this too shall come to pass.
How are you receiving this post?
What is stirring for you? What is resonating? Not resonating?
Which among the 4 responses are you strong at?
Which among the 4 responses would you like to cultivate and explore more?
Please do let me know in the comments or connect with me if you are willing to share what’s alive in you after reading this post.
And please do share it as well with others, specially for those you know who might benefit from learning these new responses.