THE TALE OF TWO VISITS
I had back-to-back hospital appointments. One with the Mamma Poli nurse who I was assigned to in our hospital where I needed to go for the mammogram and another with the OB Gyn to get my uterus checked.
Different sections.
Same hospital.
Different experiences.
The first one, I left feeling dissatisfied.
There were moments in the conversation where I knew she had not read my extensive medical history (in the same hospital and under her care 10 years ago!). There were questions that, if she spent 5 minutes going through my file, she would have easily known the answers.
It wasn’t that she was unfriendly or transactional. There was still a sense of friendliness and openness that she showed in the 10 minutes of intake that she did.
Yet, at the end of that meeting, I did not feel fully seen.
Today, on the other hand, was an extremely pleasurable experience.
The moment I sat down, the doctor immediately mentioned about us not knowing each other and what she had read on my report. She knew my case before and the current situation I am in with my health. She was responsive, attentive, empathetic, prepared, and very open to my questions.
She even did the ultrasound and the closer inspection with the speculum, which are already unpleasant procedures, with patience and so much care.
Before leaving the room, I thanked her for making what was a nerve-wracking experience bearable. That I left there feeling validated, seen, and CARED FOR.
These tale of two visits show the value of care in our interactions. I often write about Care as the bedrock for activism and altruism. It is the fundamental value that underlies our purpose, values, and our mission. Care is an essential component of societal values, moral leadership, and citizen responsibilities.
In its simplest form, care is how we engage with each other as “kapwa” - as our shared inner selves. This means, I care about you because I am you, and you are me. We are all one and your well-being is tied to my well-being.
How might we create and design with CARE in the center?
My wish is we develop and design more ecosystems of care. Ecosystems are made up of connections, interrelationships and interactions. An ecosystem approach transforms individual capacity to collective capacity.
Joan Claire Tronto (1989) sees care as:
relational ethics
reciprocal practice and
moral investment in collective well-being
This is why we need to deepen our shared understanding of care. It is imperative that we not only define what care means in our given context, but also to expand on WHO WE CARE FOR, WHAT WE CARE ABOUT AND WHAT IS MADE POSSIBLE WHEN WE CARE.
Exploring care together also allows us to see the shadow side. In the article, Towards Becoming an Ecology of Care, it was mentioned:
“Approaching an ecology through the lens of care demands recognizing what is attended to, but also what is neglected. Although people mutually depend on one another for survival and all bodies are inherently precarious, social institutions do not protect them equally. Care governance creates social differences: ‘some lives are protected, others are not’ (Lorey,2012). While universal access to care is necessary for collective well-being, care is unjustly distributed in practice. A focus on ecologies of care invites a critical (re)formulation and exploration of ‘the role of caring in constituting the social modes of organisation in an ecology’ (Salvini, 2019).”
What is it that we care about and who we care for that we are neglecting?
We can deepen our inquiry on this by asking ourselves:
What keeps us from caring?
What complexities need addressing or acknowledgment?
How far do we and should we care?
What are the boundaries of caring?
How far and how deep do we want to care for others?
How deep are we willing to go?
In this tale of two visits, I am hopeful.
Hopeful that there are people who approach their work with more care, attentiveness, and affection.
Spaces where people leave the room feeling deeply held, witnessed, and validated.
Spaces where people feel relieved, reassured, and reconnected.
And this starts with us bringing in care to the spaces we inhabit.
Who and what is it that you CARE about (awareness, advocacies, actions) that you would like to tend to and bring more of in your families, in your teams, in your collaborations or organizations, or in your communities?
Interested in exploring your shared understanding of CARE with your family, team, organization? You can download (FOR FREE) this slide deck with prompts and exercises on DEEPENING OUR SHARED UNDERSTANDING OF CARE.
Source:
Care Ecologies Group, Valentina Curandi, Inte Gloerich, Ania Molenda, Maaike Muntinga, Natalia Sanchez Querubin, Nienke Scholts & Marloeke van der Vlugt (2022) Towards Becoming an Ecology of Care, Performance Research, 27:6-7, 251-259, DOI: 10.1080/13528165.2022.2198879
Tronto, Joan Claire (1998) ‘An ethic of care’, Generations: Journal of the American society on aging 22(3): 15–20.